They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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