meet me or not, i'm out of control
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
