are you so shy because you have an std?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
