I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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