Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
