They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
