How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
