Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
