Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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