Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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