i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
