Can i not drive my cunt home
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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