i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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