Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
