My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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