..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
