weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Can Purell be used as lube?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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