The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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