We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize