Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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