My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
