I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Jerry, you need to find god
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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