he puts the penis in happiness.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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