Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
