Can Purell be used as lube?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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