I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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