Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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