i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
