i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize