Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
