my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
