are you still at the devil's house?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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