how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize