Whod you bang
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
