i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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