YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
