She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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