I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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