You smell like a Billy Joel song
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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