So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
