My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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