Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
