I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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