I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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