3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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