Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
