Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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