I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
