I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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