I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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