Got a toothbrush?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
