Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
