I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
