First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
