I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
