im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
