walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
